if i were a bread

if i were a bread,

i will be a milk pan
the creamiest and fattest milk pan around
cupcake looking yummilicious

i am going to get you tomorrow… ashita zetaii kau tsumorimasu

milk pan milk pan milk pan

When i found myself, I lost everything

I think its really amazing how you can actually get to know people around you bettter. .. through the slightest things, superficial conversations and then sparking off a new development of a friendship …

Life is just ever so .. amazingly surprising .. somehow … never fails to catch you by surprise in many ways … I think what will never fail to amaze me will be people’s philosophies about life in the sense, how they can live in their own world just caught up with ideas they believe in .. or what they have been shaped by their various experiences and events that happen throughout their lives…

now on my mini “studying break” somehow makes me appreciate my past student life even more .. not having to worry if i didn’t make money for that day .. although a part of me was quite .. Shitix i should have gone into work today and pick up some pocket money at least …

mmss many thoughts these few times … pondering on what Janice asked ” so what do you think has changed about you? this year that you are 22″

i think after pondering over it a few days, i would say to some extent that i became more ‘bold’ and probably slightly more confident in comparison to the past, especially in talking about religion and my past experiences… more sure of myself to larger extent and just adopting a different attitude in comparison to the past .. being candid .. opening up darker sides .. i am just blessed to have people around me that could really take my pms .. ahahaa..

i think i also in the process.. been shutting people out of my life  …  which is probably why this job really suits me – in not having to deal with friendship and relationship dramas in life that much ; numbers are really easier to deal with than people .. just so direct, no mind games .. just in your face man- … ok going off tangent but nonetheless .. this year has been so far filled with many .. thought provoking and friendship/ relationship tests that really hmmss.. makes one wonder whether some friendships are really meant to be kept or just faded away …or just that everyone is just running their own race, its probably good to be just phased out until time drags on and we all become old and saggy to realise and regret for not cherishing the buried  friendship ..

I think i have toned down … less stubborn in the sense i will still be willing to hear the other side of the coin.. give me some time to think about it and most of the times i get convinced … although at times quick to judge, but also do find redeeming points in people and glad to be proved wrong ..

its time to move on and not be at square one waiting when all are just running their own races .. I have to live a life that is at my pace and not at an accomodated pace and timing … In fact it has already started earlier than the rest, all the more its time to work hard for a future that is within reach…time to get more serious and not play around too much .. As much as we are all at different stages of our lives.. I don’t want to be the only one standing in the past and just waiting there for someone to turn back and get me … its really time to pick up the pieces and just move on I do look forward to next year with my new projects … as for learning new things.. hmms .. that will come into place.. there is much to learn i do hope i get the opportunity to and as well .. i do want it to come quick so i can jump into it

this time around… its different.. i feel the difference .. i am doing this exam for myself … just a prove that I am able to handle exams .. and that if i really had put my heart into it, i could really do it .. and even if i don’t, at least i wasn’t scared to try it and gave it all without regrets .. おぼえてください ..

自分のために、一生懸命日本語を勉強していま。とても難しし、テストがこわいでも、一生懸命がんばってつもります。

[Everythings gonna be alright 色を加え塗り描いて行く "近い将来" ] と

嵐の曲　素晴らし世界　：D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

coolness

my weekend i would say ended quite eventful

met up with plonks last minute before the test good food and nice catch up  and was blessed with a jlpt 3 prep book!! except all in chinese!!!hahahaha.. but appreciate the thought ganbatte ne!! hope the sph job works for you if you really interested in it

and getting to know my jap classmates more really sugoiii …. one dabbles in metal art, another in photography .. it just feels nice to get to know these differnt art aspects people and apart from bitching about how hard japanese is hahahaa.. and compare who fails the listening .. ahhahaa. .. its been really fun for once its interesting to know about other people’s world and what inspires them or interests them maybe cos i was interested in art itself so that added to the interest

and of course meeting with the gang hahaha.. walking in those sexy killer heels – i must really thank eunice who sacrifised her slippers and wore her smelly shoes for me:) very appreciative of it ended up eating korean then retreating around to coffee bean to more truth or dare and coffee …  :) niceeeeee

18th of nov was one of the formal dates that ayaka retires from the music industry well kinda.. hope she just recovers once and for all and just be able to come back with more inspirational songs and better as much as i think her voice is really .. its like you can really feel her passion through each word that she sings .. and every word that she means.. but there are really few artistes that i know of that are as such .. hmmsss i feel inspired to draw smthg but cant really think.. oh wellss..

have a good week ahead then

 

ii kotoba

just saw on tv

“because the limits of human is the beginning of God’s work”

very nice saying indeed

have a arashiiii day

happy pms 22nd

Thanks one and all for the wishes and meet ups to drag me out of my house despite me being pms-sy.. Thank God that everything went better then I expected .. and i thought it was quite cute they sent ‘beat’ to check on my daily pms-sy status to end off, we all got very high and hyper, all stayed up until 5 am because ali was so excited talking .. ok and also it seemed like a very long time since all of us were talking talking Thank God for friends like them who can take my pms

On top of it, dinner at Pine Court Meritus Mandrin with the family- and thankfully the damn jam – otherwise caused by apec – was gone .. started with grumpy grape me, ended off with laughing happy yongs as i await for the supposed baby panda that my brother had promised me – that was not soft toy

Monday before class, i was blessed by Jans for a birthday dinner treat i wished we had more time to continue the conversation instead of me running to class .. but i thank God for a friend like her after every meet up always blessed

and of course a personal triple call from jean beans who took the trouble to make sure she called me even when i didnt answer my phone touched and glad ahhahaha and of course an unexpected pleasant surprise missed call and sms from fairyyy!!! hahahahaa

I am truly blessed and enjoying, trying to appreciate every bit of life and shit that is thrown in my face .. at least i have learnt to handle it properly and not run away from it ..

22

2 years -almost working .. i would not say that i have fully integrated into the singapore environment .. maybe i do consciously not want to integrate in as well because i dont agree with most mentality and the beliefs here to some extent .. just because i am part of society doesnt mean i have to agree fully with what it offers right? wont my art lecturers be so proud of me … or not … ahhaah

thinking back.. hmms.. today meeting up with yuns made me realise how .. some how we have progressed together in the sense, both entered the workforce around the same period of time .. and just talking together how its really different now.. it seems like we are phased out of melbourne at the same time .. like we never left singapore since now we hang around with the same crowd of people that indirectly ‘grew’ with us even though we were in melbourne .. and now talking to some melb friends also made me realised how it is really the case of being phased out of their lives.. not in a negative way.. it is really living the ‘route’ that everybody is realistically and scattered everywhere living their own dreams, occupied with their own lives … in this context, melbourne had seemed very surreal .. 4 years there ..
and yet in 2 years it seems that its all .. ‘disconnected’ in some way … i dont really know how to put the idea across .. but thinking about it really made me think about things in life .. like how i thought i was quite “smart” in uni and know my stuff.. but coming out now to work makes me feel like.. i really really was a young punk that doesnt know a shit .. work is so much different and challenging … from the people that i meet in listening to them talk about life, to working and experiencing it faster than most peers its really different .. you felt like at one point in time you know about the world through growing up, but yet there is still so much about it that we are not aware of and still yet to be revealed/ explored ..

I am glad that i have a breakthrough at work .. and i am truly grateful to the mini reconciliations that are taking place this year in my extended families and thank God for people around me who takes the trouble to want to celebrate my birthday with me or get me gifts that even i didn’t think of getting

even though i didn’t spend this birthday in a big bash or glamourous way, all these mini blessings along the way just makes it better than a big bash altogether Thank God for that it truly is one special birthday blessings that i didnt even deserve and call for

ya pai ri

thankfully i am/wasnt in the mood for any celebration ..

with such a shit like this that happen,

i also dont have any mood to do anything …

my lao beng uncle fell off the construction site on work.. 2 stories high  and is now in the hospital vomitting blood … and previously they just sent him to the “medical stand” at the contruction site and deduced that hes alright because there is no signs of bleeding .. SERIOUSLY WTH are they thinking … thankfully mum called in time to go to the hospital to do X ray ..
hope things get better that side… just when reconciliations are taking place .. but nonetheless God i am know you work in many ways that we cannot understand.. please give the family strength to get through this ..

i guess i will be spending the birthday with hospital visits or something ..
not complaining in anyways
please help me keep him in prayers
that can be a nice present to have this lao beng uncle back that brought us so much laughter with his charisma and randomness thanks

jean beans if you are reading this,

hahaha.. for the moment i cannot think of a bigger shit that would have happened .. but all this shit that happens always happen all at one shot.. i wonder whats being lined up for me next ..

ke ko desu

no need no celebration, elaborate dinners or what nots

i dont mean to offend anybody

maybe its just a birthday pms

but i dont need any birthday presents or celebrations

i honestly from the bottom of my heart i cannot be bothered to celebrate it

it should just pass like a normal day, everyone just doing their normal things

and maybe i am just weird

or maybe the nature of my job that furthermore makes me more secluded … not that i am complaining.. some how inside of me does enjoy and appreciate it .. dealing with numbers is always more straight forward and less demanding than dealing with people …

i am used to doing things alone and do enjoy it that way.. doesnt bother me if i walk around alone aimlessly i like it ..

or take on self exploring trips that may be a joke in your face butt of jokes of conversations but i really dont give a shit what you think

and maybe with the upcoming pms

i am better left alone ..

so thanks to those who try to plan and arrange things

forcing me into it will make the whole atmosphere even worst and i will have the blackest face on this earth i wont appreciate it and many more unwanted drama that arises with misunderstandings that boil up and whatever …

i really really dont see a need to celebrate anything

thanks but no thanks

this can be a birthday present for me

picking up?

everyone around me seems to think that the economy is picking up … or rather it seems like its showing signs of recovery and all …

but i really beg to differ … each time i read the news, i remind myself what i witnessed .. and some how as termed in the current week issue of Time magazine that ‘main street and wall street is not able to see eye to eye’

somehow.. how can all the problems that came from a build up over the years just resolve in 1 year? how is that ever possible?

how is it possible that things can be better when the guys at wall street still continue in their system in drawing high pays and overspending … and in fact not even knowing shit about how the economy really runs ..  taking tax payers money -through government funds- … losses take some more.. bailout bailout..  gains just contribute to their bonus …i guess the system seems to work for the rich – rich getting richer, poor getting poorer .. middle class oddly sticking out either becoming poorer or richer …what is our world coming to? are we all so greed focus and not learn from the crash last year … and not realising that our greed and the failure of a capitalist system that completely facilitates this .. is going to bring about our own doom …

it is really appalling.. and scary i think the direction to which we are heading towards .. unless there is a revolution.. a change in the structure of this system.. otherwise..  i really cant imagine … adding on to this the myth of meritocracy ..

human nature that we are all selfish beings on this earth.. its always the case of  i guess it depends on which side of the situation are you at …

but to some extent i guess its good everyone thinks its getting better … i just hope we all dont go into a state of deflation.. that would be the worst.. like how japan has been since decades agoo … goshh… that would really be quite a hard psychological fair to overcome …

oh wells.. just my thoughts on the economy.. hahaa i also dont really think i am in a position to comment much but oh wells… i hope i manage to find an organization to work with during christmas or something .. ;p

have a great weekend ahead!

guess who :D

wells.. i got quite sian of studying..

and guess who came to visit ….

 

 

my very first attempt at drawing nino ahaha i hope its not too shabby and i couldnt find my 6b pencil so.. i cannot really shade it darkk… BAhhsss… but oh wellisss

enjoy!!!  i edit more along the way  3 hours … wheee

till then

have a great day aheadd!!!!

coporate life

today was a very interesting day i would say ….

i represented my company and went to shenton way!!!! wheeee…. what a country bumpkin.. my memories of shenton way was only waiting for my parents at hitachi towers at the burger king downstairs .. until they finished work at the exchange then we would all trudge home together

today going there myself to represent our small company was really really one good experience.. ahhaa.. its like really a fish going out to the ocean to explore to see the different types of fishes and breeds around… its really interesting!! subarashi i would say and say .. i felt so WAHHHhhhhh all that i ever imagined the coporate conferences and functions to be.. I AM ACTUALLY going in onee of itt!!! wow!!!! like participating in one of it …

@ the conference i really wanted to ask trading related questions.. but i think i was the youngest around and was quite terrified of asking a stupid question .. and also i dont think they would really take me seriously .. so .. ahhahaa.. seems really really interesting at least i get to see people around that are doing the same thing as me .. interesting really interesting …

Thank God for today that i hit another monthly record.. and thank you for today that i am able to enjoy and benefit from the successes of my parents..