unemployed: day #6

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still unemployed . whats new ..

sometimes having a degree.. not that i want to be all complacent with it.. to some extent it does feel so superficial.. feels like a fluke in receiving that piece of paper.. everybody rides on the prestige that comes along with it .. where you did it, what course you did .. and yet inside you know when it comes down to your transcript, actually it was all a hoax .. although at times to comfort yourself in the thought that yup.. its within the top 20 in the world.. so its just not as easy.. but it doesnt excuse you from the fact that if other people are able to be higher acheivers, why not yourself? then you blame yourself for such inefficiency ..

confidence. did going to uni make me a more confident person? maybe.. but it did make me feel stupider.. maybe i just got into the wrong course i tell myself.. but still.. does that really matter now.. maybe going was really a mistake .. but whats the point in reviving all these now that its all history .. ok.. then be forward looking .. but how do you be forward looking where there is nothing to look forward to? or rather just knowing with your capabilities, you will just be blessed to not get yourself fired .. then you just pray that an accident will happen to you and maybe you can still squeeze yourself to heaven .. but if that really happens, the amount of money invested in you would be such a waste.. and the pain and gruesome parts.. you will cause people so much trouble in clearing up after you..  and hand cuffed on your body .. so unglam .. and imagine the amount of embarrassment you will be .. butt of all auntie gossips ..

hoax . just another fluke . just like the food in food republic. expensive but shitty .

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