Ok.. enough tears and all .. i can’t possibly continue living my life in tears on a daily basis – i will go blind on top of the dead cells on my upper and lower eye lids ..
*BUCK UP BUCK UP*
come on come on (jan 2005) 
its all about psyching yourself into it .. ok .. and just try to love it .. and when you get the $$ , you can be category B – follow your dreams just at the later part of your life .. when you get the $$ and all, it would be easier to fund it … category A consists of people who are so smart and so blessed that whatever they study, they just get whatever they want .. without having to worry about anything else other than getting to where they want ..
since you are stuck in it , you just got to find ways to make the process fun so you can get outta it .. regrets may come in .. but maybe at that point in time, you will not be thinking about it.. take it as a test of your passion .. but its been so many years and you still think about it….. shelved dreams.. that probably can only come true when you prove that you are just not cut out for what you are currently getting yourself into .. after all, we all did have a choice .. to be the filial one and just don’t add on to more problems, or just rebel and live a life for yourself..
its not the end of the world after all.. is it? … the past week was just a shit week for me.. so many times that i jayed across the road to get home.. many a times, with just that slip of timing, i know i can be banged down by just any passing car .. so many times tempted .. but i decided it would have been too ma fan if it wasnt a quick death.. now with the rising inflation.. staying in the hospital would mean more bills..
okk.. just psych yourself into it .. you just have to hang on there for a few bits.. for the last time before i commence this new week in this shit.. I HATE TRADING I HATE TRADING I HATE TRADING I FUCKING HATE TRADING I HATE TRADING .. .. i feel so cheated incurring a debt as a result of my ignorance .. its damn freaking cheater of feelings! .. i don’t mean to be spoilt in saying it.. i know its a very sought after job with the commerce people who only know how to think within a box.. but i FUCKING HATE TRADING… i am only there to pay a bad debt that i had accumulated… and for the last time.. I FUCKING HATE IT .. I wished i did interior design .. ok .. i feel much better
sometimes it just takes that little step to break a person.. and yet a hell lota determination to just get through this shit….
just get through this shit then say.. just get through this shit then say..
enough tears enough said .. the system is always right .. i just have to be robotic about it .. no more emotions.. just work ..
